NBA All-Star Weekend is upon us, and GOAL has devised how a Premier League match would go down
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American sports really get to strut their stuff at this time of year. We're fresh off the back of the Super Bowl, with the Philadelphia Eagles tearing the Kansas City Chiefs limb from limb, and now the NBA All-Star Weekend is upon us.
Now, we're not here to say that English football should be looking across the pond for ideas to implement into the game. Far from it. Things are fine just the way they are, thank you very much.
That said, it's fun to imagine what an Americanised Premier League would look like, and the All-Star Game is the absolute No.1 pick for entertainment. But what is the All-Star Game and what would it look like in England? GOAL has you covered.
Follow GOAL on WhatsApp! 🟢📱Getty Images SportHow the Premier League All-Star Game would work
Translating the All-Star Game into a Premier League format is a relatively straightforward task, in theory (which is thankfully what this match will be played in). We do, however, need to devise some conditions and restrictions even for a fantasy. Let's at least be semi-realistic here, people.
To come up with our north-vs-south split, all we need to do is look at a map of England and determine the 10 most northerly stadium locations against the 10 most southernly. This year, such a task has been made simpler by the fact there's seven London teams – Arsenal, Brentford, Chelsea, Crystal Palace, Fulham, Tottenham and West Ham – plus the three south-coast sides in Brighton, Bournemouth and Southampton. Therefore, they will make up the southern pool, and the remaining 10 clubs – Aston Villa, Everton, Ipswich, Liverpool, Leicester, Manchester City, Manchester United, Newcastle, Nottingham Forest and Wolves – will form the northern pool.
Though this is not necessarily a game for defensive players, we also need these teams to functionally act like competitive club sides as opposed to FPL teams – wingers are forwards and there should be at least one recognisable midfielder to mop up. Players currently injured will not be considered for selection, either.
For the sake of fairness, we are only going to be picking three players per club maximum for the starting XIs. When the time comes to naming substitutes, then we can lift that rule, otherwise we'd be handing out selections to just anybody, and that's not in the spirit of the game.
AdvertisementAFPNorth All-Stars
Now it's time for the fun part of actually selecting the teams, and we'll start with the northerners, who can boast the runaway Premier League leaders among their teams to pick from. Liverpool's three out-of-contract stars – Mohamed Salah, Virgil van Dijk and Trent Alexander-Arnold – are the most obvious candidates to make the starting XI, which leaves an Alisson-shaped hole between the sticks.
With a Premier League-high 10 clean sheets so far, Nottingham Forest's Matz Sels is our choice in goal, with team-mates Murillo and Morgan Gibbs-White also rewarded for their fine season upsetting the applecart so far. Lewis Hall completes the back four, and he's joined by fellow Newcastle stars Bruno Guimaraes and Alexander Isak. We still need a central midfielder, and that spot goes to Youri Tielemans for his fine performances in the middle of the park for Aston Villa this term following an up-and-down debut season for Unai Emery's side.
That leaves one vacancy to fill in the forward line. As much as it would be funny to overlook Erling Haaland, he remains the Premier League's top-scoring striker after 24 rounds, and is impossible to ignore.
On the bench, we have only one other representative from Manchester City, as well as Manchester United's sole selection. Arne Slot, sitting pretty atop the table, is instilled as manager by default.
Getty Images SportSouth All-Stars
Injury to Bukayo Saka has left the southerners in desperate need of star power, but they at least have some defensive steel to call upon, headlined by his Arsenal colleagues William Saliba and Gabriel Magalhaes. The Gunners' third starter is Martin Odegaard, who has largely underwhelmed this season but brings some requisite reputation and quality to the team.
Cole Palmer, obviously, makes the cut, as does fellow Chelsea midfielder Moises Caicedo. They are, though, the Blues' only two starters after going off the boil in recent weeks.
There is then a drop-off in top-line talent due to the strangeness of the season so far. Looking at you mostly, Tottenham, with your one starter of Pedro Porro at right-back. On the other flank, United States star Antonee Robinson of Fulham gets the call over Bournemouth's Milos Kerkez, partly based on his performances but with the added bonus of fittingly having an American in this game.
In goal, David Raya is off limits from the starting XI, and most of the south's other shot-stoppers are either out of form or injured. Still, at least Dean Henderson is looking a bit more like his Sheffield United-self down at Crystal Palace. So, every cloud.
Up top is where this team gets super wicked strange. The decision to overlook Arsenal's other attackers was an easy one, while those at Chelsea and Spurs have been far too hit-or-miss to deserve selection from the start. With that in mind, we're deferring to the modern day streets-won't-forget trio featuring Brentford double act Bryan Mbeumo and Yoane Wissa, plus Bournemouth's Antoine Semenyo.
Mikel Arteta will coach the south side, and as a treat, he will be allowed to bring set-piece coach Nicolas Joever with him. A healthy mix of southern clubs are represented among the subs.
AFPToughest omissions
Football is far less predictable a sport than basketball. Stories like that of Manchester City's downfall are far rarer, while teams are more rigid positionally despite featuring more players.
The relentless schedule has curtailed the seasons of some of the Premier League's best players, with Saka the notable absentee. Beyond him, the likes of Kevin De Bruyne and Phil Foden have failed to string together runs of meaningful games, and City's drop-off makes it even harder to justify their entry.
Any number of Liverpool players could have made the cut, but we've restricted their total to three substitutes on top of the three starters, so apologies for Cody Gakpo and Dominik Szoboszlai in particular are in order.
The natural decline of older players such as Son Heung-min and Ilkay Gundogan has further stripped the game of what previous big-name pull it had. Mother Nature and Father Time get to all of us eventually.